


No Rest for the Weakly

by ScumdogSnev



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 22:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12897807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScumdogSnev/pseuds/ScumdogSnev
Summary: Sean is visited by an old friend during his hometown sabbatical.





	No Rest for the Weakly

Sean absentmindedly toys with the tab on his can of ginger ale as he looks at the indigo-colored parking lot from the diner window. He hates himself more than ever for what he’s done.

It was one thing coming face to face with a stereotypical school shooter, feeling the poor kid’s body temperature lower as he felt him bleeding out by one of their hands; knowing who pulled the trigger that afternoon is a mystery better left unsolved. Making his friends tag along with him to his hometown wasn’t his main concern. It was impulsive, but not as stupid as abandoning them right then and there as if it was his only option. Some bad boy he was, always running away from his problems.

Sean accidentally cuts his thumb on the soda tab. He scowls in pain, not noticing the hand offering him a bandage.

“Aww, gloomy Cammy’s got a boo-boo...”

“Shut it, Bishop.”

Even with his head down, Sean could tell that it was him by that smarmy yet youthful voice. Tyler’s the last thing he missed about Wasaga, but he couldn’t help smiling anyway. He wipes his bloody thumb with a napkin before unwrapping the bandage and applying it to the wound.

“What do you want?”

“Not me, man. _He’s_ the one who came looking for you,” Tyler said before nodding his head towards the entrance.

Sean tenses up as he watches Craig calmly walk from the door to his table. The taller boy sits in front of him, exuding everything but warmth.

Tyler awkwardly shifts in place. “Looks like you two ladies need some time alone to fix your relationship issues--”

“Yeah, I think you should leave,” declares Craig. Sean’s surprised that he took the words right out of his mouth, venom and all. Tyler shoots Craig a shocked look before leaving.

It’s not until Craig orders his food that one of them decides to speak.

“So, um... How are things back in Toronto?”

Craig fishes into one of the pockets of his leather jacket and slams a bottle of pills on the table.

“What’s it look like?”

Sean feels a shiver surge up his spine. Craig’s voice is a little deeper than he remembers; his hair is shorter, too. Finally finding the courage to look him in the eye, he’s met with an icy glare that makes him realize that Craig truly is his father’s son. Craig had matured when he was gone, as people usually do over time. He’s not sure if he’s scared because of how drastically he's changed or because he himself still hasn’t grown up yet.

Sean eyes the orange container again as Craig takes his food and drink from the server. “What are they for?”

“Like I’d tell you. Look, let’s just say that I haven’t been feeling too well up here lately,” answers Craig, pointing at his head.

“I’d say even earlier than that--” Sean cuts himself off, swearing under his breath.

Craig rolls his eyes. “Yeah, thanks for reminding me. Ellie’s right. You really are shittier with words than I remember.”

Sean chokes for a moment, even though Craig’s the one who’s eating. “Ellie!? Don’t you two hate each other?”

Craig faintly smiles. “Hey, even Tom and Jerry got along sometimes. We have group therapy together. I’m even thinking of having her drum for Downtown Sasquatch.”

Sean takes a deep breath, preparing himself for the worst. “Does she still hate me?”

“Mm,” mumbles Craig between bites of his cheesesteak, laughing a bit when he hears Sean sigh. He downs what he’s eaten with some root beer. “But I think I hate you more.”

“...Is she okay?”

Craig suddenly snaps: “Look, that’s none of your business anymore! Now ask me why I hate you more than she hates you.”

Sean feels a bit of bile building up inside of him; he thinks he knows where this is going, so he chooses not to say anything.

“Sean, don’t ignore me again. Please. Why do you always act like this when it comes to me?”

Sean doesn’t know. He blames Jay for the rift in their friendship, but he knows that it’s all his fault. He’s the one who was relentlessly rude to Craig around the beginning of Grade 9 and even the end of Grade 8. Despite his behavior, Craig still had nothing but lo--

Painfully earnest gratitude and friendship to give. That’s as much as Sean knows, as far as he’s concerned.

He feels even more sick. Why _does_ he keep doing this to him?

“Do you even know why you went back home?”

“No. I-I don’t,” Sean answers in a weaker fashion than he would have liked.

Craig looks like he’s about to say something, but holds back. The three minutes that it takes for him to finish his meal are the longest three minutes that Sean has ever experienced.

“Listen... I think you should come back to Toronto and go to group with Ellie and I,” proposes Craig in a softer tone than earlier. “We’re not gonna judge you. We’re all here to help each other out, so you don’t have to worry about feeling embarrassed. Joey won’t mind letting you live with me, neither. Group therapy’s been awesome for me and El. I think it’ll give the help you need--"

“I don’t need anyone’s help! No one’s ever going to understand me, Craig!”

Textbook bad boy answer. Sean feels like it’s part of some character that he’s been playing ever since he became a teenager. He can’t even be honest with himself to the point that he doesn’t remember who he really is anymore. Maybe that’s what comes with being labelled a juvenile delinquent before learning how to divide.

Craig’s seething inside now. Sean abruptly gets up, not even caring about the other three people in the diner seeing him.

“You don’t know shit about what I’ve been through, alright? So, stop pretending like you do and leave me alone!”

“Oh, _fuck_ you, Sean!”

Sean’s breath hitches in his throat.

“I’m not gonna tell you what I’ve been through before that savior fetish of yours kicks in again, but you’ve seen me at my worst and I’ve seen you hit rock bottom. We know more about each other than you think. I care about you, Sean! I always have, but maybe I’ve just been wasting my energy all along. I don’t know what made me think that you actually gave a shit about me. You did all of that just you could feel good about yourself, didn’t you? You never cared about me. But I... I...”

Sean sees Craig’s eyes getting red; he feels his eyes welling up with tears, too.

“Craig.”

“What?!”

“I...”

_I’m sorry. I’ll come back home with you. I’ll go to group therapy with you and Ellie. I haven’t been honest with myself. I haven’t been honest with anyone. I haven’t been honest with you. I’ve always cared about you and I’ll never stop. I want to be your best friend again. I want to tell you everything. I want to live with you. I want to live my life with you. **I love you, Craig.**_

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Craig gets up, leaves the cash for his meal on the table and walks past Sean to the exit. He looks at Sean over his shoulder.

“One more thing. What I was going to tell you earlier? You might have been a hero once in a while, but you’re always gonna be a coward to me. Save yourself for a change.”

Sean looks at Craig stepping into the darkness before rushing to the bathroom to say goodbye to his own meal from much earlier.

* * *

Sean is surprised when he comes back home to see his mother watching an old sitcom; his father is sleeping in the duo’s bedroom. She turns to her son, his eyes puffy from crying.

“Are you gonna be okay, honey?”

“I don’t know,” replies Sean, his voice raspy. He walks over to the plastic-wrapped couch and pulls her into a tight embrace.

“Mom?”

“Yes, Sean?”

“Thanks for still believing in me.”


End file.
